it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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