I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
