dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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