I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize