We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize