you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
