i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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