Pappa wants mamma naked
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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