He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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