I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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