Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
