God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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