I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
