The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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