New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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