I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
