Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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