I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
a search helicopter?!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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