think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
