Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
