Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
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she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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