Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
