69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
