Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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