Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
