I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
