His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
