So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
