FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
