did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
