he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
