Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
