I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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