Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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