This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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