sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize