I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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