I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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