Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i think i just lost a toe
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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