I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
