so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
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We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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