We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
