That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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