fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
