I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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