she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
