dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
