what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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