Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize