Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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