theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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