So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
