I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
