so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
