Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
MIDGETS
????
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
