I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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