At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
