I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They took my balls.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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