i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
