Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
