when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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