If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize