Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
