How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
