she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
