fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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