just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
