Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
