At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
