Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
