Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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