Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
