TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
