ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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