I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
