I would go down on you faster than GM stock
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
