Jerry, you need to find god
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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