Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
