I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
