yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
