help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
