Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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