I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize